Clubbing in Cancun

Whether it’s Spring Break, your birthday, or just a regular ol’ vacation in beautiful Cancun, it’s always a good time to party. Like, always. I literally visited Cancun in the middle of hurricane season and the entire city was still turnt.

I have a very low tolerance for most things in life: pain, hunger, people who don’t use their blinkers, cold weather, the list goes on. But what I don’t have a low tolerance for is FUN!!

Okay, that was a lame transition, whatever.

Anyways. While in Cancun, I decided to check out the club scene. After all, Cancun is basically Las Vegas in Quintana Roo, so the nightlife has to be pretty legendary, right? Being the uninformed tourist I usually am, I googled “clubs in Cancun” and went to one, The City, in the middle of the day. The club had promoters in a booth right out front (most of them do), so I asked them how much their cover would be for the night. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said, because it was in Spanish, but he offered instead a club crawl deal: A VIP tour to 4 clubs with “drinks included”, ending the night at The City. Sounded like a pretty chill deal for me, I wouldn’t have to deal with finding a table or ordering drinks or finding the clubs in the first place.

I’m in.

I somehow managed to haggle the price down to $40 or $50, and I’m still not sure if that was a steal. Maybe I could have gotten it down more if I was more assertive and didn’t dress like trash that day, but hey, one step at a time.

It was still raining come nighttime, and I also didn’t pack any club clothes, so I just wore some shorts, a crop top, and my watershoes (hahaha). We took the ultra affordable city bus outside of our hotel to the first meetup.

La Vaquita

This was our first stop at the club crawl, La Vaquita. It looks like an old western salon with cow print. There’s also a giant dancing cow near the entrance. You’ll know it when you see it. We arrived at 9:00, got our wristbands from the tour guide, and were sent inside. The club was practically empty, so we didn’t even need the guide here, but he made sure to check in with us to make sure we were having a good time.

I shuffled my way over to the bar, hopeful that “vodka” was the same in Spanish. I flashed my wristband at the bartender and proceeded to order. “Uh, um, bonjo- I mean, hola senior. Uh, senor. Uh,”

“What do you want to drink?”

Oh. He spoke English. Well, I tried. “Screwdriver please.”

AND THEN HE POURED ME A MCDONALDS SIZED SUPERSIZE CUP OF VODKA AND REALLY BAD ORANGE FLAVORED WATER. It was literally the size of my forearm.

I was not expecting an entire lake, but hey, more bang for my buck, right?

The club had started to fill up a little more, but there wasn’t too much dancing. I spent most of the time in the bathroom, I think I peed approximately 47 times and I had a slight upset stomach from dinner. They had a really nice bathroom though. #packantidiarrheals

Dady O

Our group left La Vaquita for the next destination, Dady O. From the outside, it literally looks like a giant cave entrance. The club is actually underground, like, built into the rocks and whatnot, but I was starting to feel buzzed and I didn’t care about the rest of the club details.

It was around 10:30, and the club already had more people than La Vaquita. We were seated in a private roped off area with tables and chairs. The tour guide rounded the corner with drinks and asked for a tip. I only 50 pesos with me, which, idk wasn’t a lot but it was something. At least, that’s what I thought.

Annoyed, he told me to keep my money and this would be the last drink for me.

I shot him a thumbs up, slide my money back in my wallet, and happily sipped away on my last free drink.

So get this, the dance floor in Dady O is actually a giant spinning platform in the middle of the club. Yes, they expect you to dance on a slowly spinning disc while being intoxicated and holding drinks. I’m sure it sounded great when the pitched it.

Mandala

After leaving Dady O, the drop in temperature sobered me up a little on the walk to the next club. Mind you, all of these places are basically across the street from each other, you spend maybe a max of two minutes outside. Mandala was a much more open club, a majority of the floor place open for dancing. The tour guide stayed true to his word and didn’t give me any more drinks, but jokes on him because I just took one of the extras from his tray when he wasn’t looking.

#cantbetamed

I don’t have any pictures from Mandala because I was too busy having fun (not that they would be good quality anyway, I had an iphone 4 with a insanely cracked screen), but I really enjoyed the crowd at Mandala, more than the other two clubs. There were a lot more dancing and no one laughed at my Whip/Nae Nae skills (this was like two years ago okay, don’t judge me). Leaving Mandala, we passed by La Vaquita and it was ON FIREEEE. Not literally, but the club was bumpin. I wish we would have started at Dady O or something instead. I would definitely want to go back after the club had filled out a little.

The City

Finally, the last stop. Let me tell you, The City is LITERALLY a city. IT’S HUGE. Like, thousands of people huge. My terrible pictures do no justice to its size. By 1am when we strolled in, it was packed. We immediately lost track of our tour guide (which was fine, he hated my brokeness anyway) and consumed by the sea of people. I flashed my wristband at one of the bartender stands and he gave me whatever mixture was closest to his hands at the time.

I think I had the most fun at The City, the DJ was excellent and the atmosphere was *flame emoji*. The only downside was that I couldn’t dance my way into VIP. I even popped, locked, AND dropped it, but the bouncer just smiled and shook his head. Well, no harm in trying. So if you manage to get into VIP at The City, rest assured you will have privacy.

And that was the extent of my club crawling in Cancun. Would I do it again? Maybe, but I would definitely do more research into which clubs I would want to visit. I have a lot more clubs to check out though, so maybe I would rather just visit them individually when they have special theme nights and have more fun at each of them.

Coco Bongo

The famous Coco Bongo was not offered with any of the club crawl offers I had come across. In fact, I think it deserves it’s own post, it’s so great. But I will say this: you gotta go. Even if you aren’t a big clubber, there are fun/weird performances by impersonators that is really just…you gotta see it. The cover is usually pretty steep; we managed to haggle the price down from $90ish USD (!!!!) to $65 USD and that was a challenge. But! That does include ALLLL UNLIMITED DRINKS literally all night. Even better, you don’t have to wait in line for drinks or deal with the whole ordering process. They have premade drinks lined up (which are watched over by the club bouncers, no worries) and you just walk up and get one. The club also doesn’t close until the last person leaves. I think we ended up leaving at maybe 4am-ish and there were still people fist pumping. Long story short, go to Coco Bongo.

In terms of the club atmosphere, it was a lot more laid back dress-wise than Vegas, New York, or Los Angeles. I mean, I was wearing water shoes and no one even looked twice. There were people of all ages, from budding 18 year olds to people in their fifties, and they were all friendly. No ponytail grabbing or cocktail throwing in sight, everyone was just there for a good time. That said, a surprising number of people weren’t shaking their groove thang. I’m by no means a good dancer, so when I was singled out for dancing and put on stage to dance (yes, there are videos, no I am not going to show them ever), you KNOW their standards aren’t that high. Which is nice in a way, no one’s going to judge your dancing, but the majority of people are definitely going to be standing on the sidelines, bobbing along to the music. I felt completely safe in all of the clubs, and even walking between clubs, there are always police on the streets and plenty of lights, so no creepy dark alley weirdness going on.

Well, this post was a lot longer than I expected. Have you ever clubbed in Cancun? Which club should I check out next time?? (I’m thinkin Senor Frogs)

 

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